Life still goes on...

Was away...

2007-05-26T22:48:00.000-07:00

Its 141pm...I was thinking of going for a swim and sun taning but the sun seems to went down so ya...Well...i have finally quit smoking...thats so cool.

If you didnt know, me and pam broke up. Its rather a long story, well, i guess both of us are still rather fresh to each other and maybe we need to know each other better.

The good news is, I am single again. The bad news is, I am lonely again...haha

Well...who cares, i have tons of great friends, well, i do wish to find my perfect ger. When i mean perfect ger, i just need someone who understand me, give me moral support, loves and cares for me...thats all, is that to much?

Oh ya...stay away from the anything or whatever drink..its so suck...i tried it this morning...its so faking...

Well...let me tell you my process of how i quite smoking...here it goes...

I have decided to quit it once and for all. Its a waste of my money and because of smoking, i am always broke. Well, i have finally decided to quit it one night, i took out my pack of cigarettes, smashed it on the ground on to a puddle of water and stamped on it. It was trailling but after that, the days were tough. It crushes with my study weeks and due to the side effects, i was down with flu and fever, the fever was so bad that i could basically feel the veins at my left eye trying to pop out. It was so painful and terrible. There are times when i feel like giving up and wanting to go back smoking. I was so terrible and painful especially when i need to study for my midyear and my parents wasnt understanding to me. I was in total depression and but i didnt give up...finally i win the battle...it was a great challenge and from there, i have grow stronger in my detremination..=)

Its have been along time...i am very tired...

2007-05-10T08:07:00.000-07:00

It have been quite awhile since i updated...
Well my midyear was around the corner...and i was really buys with my revision...
My dear was having her midyear now...well...she is rather busy and we didnt have much time for each other...i miss her alotz...

I dont know what to write...just have a huge stupid quarrel with my parents...so sick...
The problem is...coz my parent and my room have air-con but i dont on it at all. I am used to using fan so well...but as you all know...recently, it have been quite hot recently and so i asked told them i wanted to on aircon for the night...
Guess what....they make a big fuss over saying that its such a waste of me using aircon and i will get addicted to it...i was like...its only for a night...whats the big fuss over it.
And worst is...my mum started to bring out the past and make a huge fuss and complaint over it...and my dad started to compare me with other people kids...i am like...HEY COME ON...CAN YOU SPARE ME A THOUGHT...i am so piss off...they are my parents...and they say till like nobody business...
haiz...how come my parents cant just understand me for once...i am facing stuffs that noone knows...i want to make it big...my parents dont support me but cant they just understand me...i feel like crying...who can lend me their shoulder...i am sick and tired of it...just having aircon on for a night...they can say so much stuffs...arnt adults so CHILDISH...haiz...

Honey...i'm home...

2007-05-01T05:42:00.000-07:00

Was sick recently so didnt really have the mood and energy to update my blog.

Much better today. Was planning to stay at home and make cheesecakes but late moring my dear msg me saying she is going out with her friend to study for coming exams. I suppose to go gym so after which, i went to meet her at orchard and she and her friend study histroy while i revise on my physic. Then we left around 5+ which we went to popular where they bought a 10years series.

then we took 190 from somerset all the way to bukit panjang...then i head home...
Guess what...i held her hand...i love her for who she is...and i really hope she is my very last...
I was surprise to know that i am her first bf...well i will do my best to make it a good memorials for her...
If you ever read this dear...Just want you to know...I love you with all my heart and soul...You are my life...
Missing and Loving You Always...Hugz

Yoz...People i'm back....~~~~

2007-04-27T06:15:00.000-07:00

It have been rather long since i update my blog. Alotz of thing happen recently. Anyway, I am attached le...to Pamela. It was rather a long story...i know her through a friend from church...i am from city harvest church...for those who doesnt know...

Well know her last year...but didnt really chat much...then on the 26/04/07...2days ago...i saw her in msn and we chatted...and i started to ask her about brg stuffs...and i was surprise when i ask her...she agree...

Pamela is a very sweet and decent ger...cut and gentlt...well i just hope through God's blessing...i and her could last...forever...for the next 6years...coz she vision herself getting married at her age of 22...i was like...so cool...so lovely...

Well I just want her to know...i love her for who she is...

haiz...~~~

2007-04-22T05:55:00.000-07:00

Oh God. Finally i can come online to update. Today was a rather bad day for me. Yesterday we were on the phone till late and she was saying of coming over to make dumpling. So i woke up early to but stuffs for making dumpling. Then she come over around 2+ which then my parent was at home. So we watch Vcd till 5+ which then my parent went out. So i started on with the making of dumpling and frying nuggets. Half way through i was piss off by her because she keep giving alotz comments of my making of dumpling, saying that her mum dont do it that way. I told her everyone has their own matter and she went yaking, saying i am giving excuses.

For anyone who read this, i am the kind that i hate people give too much comments on my cooking before its done cause everyone has their own way of cooking. Espically when she didnt even help out with anything at all. It was like as if she is the expert.

But due to me liking her, after pissing off with her, i msg while i went to bath saying i am sorry. What the hell!! Then after i abth, i sit down and watch the vcd. And there is a part which i dont know so i ask her. Instead of tell me dont know or answer normally, she scream saying watch myself. I was like, Is there a need to scream...Oh gosh, i am totally piss off with that. Espically when come to ger who love to scream.

But once again, who ask me to like her and want to go after her. I wonder what will happen to me in the future. Hope everything will be fine for me.

I judt send her to the busstop and headed home...arhhhh....i feel like killing someone...

Or i feel like if i am evil, i may do something bad...haizzzzzz

..back to the past...

2007-04-20T20:59:00.000-07:00

I was rather busy yesterday, end school at 6pm after chinese oral. Then i went to meet a "friend" for a movie. Suppose to meet her and some other friends but last min chances. So ended up i got another "friend" to catch wild hogs. It was so cool and we enjoyed.

Then when i got home, i msg her and we chatted for quite awhile. We joked and tease each other but at around 12+ in the midnight, i was dead tired so i sleep early yesterday. When we hang up, she drop me a rather sweet msg. I was so happy to receive that i slept very well through the night...Haha

This morning when i got up, i sudden thought of loading all my past pictures intomy blog just for fun...so enjoy...haha

...I am wondering...

2007-04-19T07:46:00.000-07:00

Did not come online yesterday to update my blog. Was in school till 6+pm for the quit smoking programme. I have finally break my record to have only 2sticks on yesterday and 3sticks today...cool right.

Then got home around 7+, went online and check my mails. Actully i cant recall what i was doing...guess slacking...till around 8+ when she msg me. Then we chatted on sms for while then on the phone. Awhile later back to sms then i knock out. Was rather tired yesterday.

Today, i went to school at 930am, ended school at 430pm. Went to hougang mall's Mcdonald use labtop while waiting to meet her up. We both ended up at library using labtop till 7+ then i head home while she headed home for dinner. Hmm...i wonder if i am thinking too much but...i dont know...i am worrying and i am scared. What can i do?
I guess let everything take its cause by natural. I hope to win her heart with my cares and sincereity...

Going to bath now...

I wish...really wish...day will come...

2007-04-17T04:25:00.000-07:00

Was busy and not feeling well yesterday. So end up did not update my blog.

I came home from school around 4+ pm because i was not feeling well. Still have not recover from my flu and fever. So went home and she come over to use my come as well brought some vcds over for me. I help her do up a resume to apply for a post as a claim clerk.

Then we watch some vcd and in the evening i went to buy dinner and she hang around using my com till 1030pm then i send her to the busstop after which i went to meet my cousin for coffee.

Hmm...while she was at my house, alot things happens. Out of the blue she just took some sweets and throw at me. Then there was once which i ask her to pass me the box of tissue paper. Guess what she do? She took it and put it on her stomach and hide, covering it with a pillow. I wonder what is this lead to...i dont wish to be misleaded.

Who can tell me whats next? I wish...really wish...able to win her heart and take care of her...loving her of who she is.

Next...today i went down to help her bro collect some vouchers at NTUC main office. I was surprise she called me at around 12+ only then i know that she was ask to go down for an interview regards to the job she apply. So i meet her at rafles place mrt and we went to NTUC main office and collected the vouchers. Then we headed to Caltex House's mosburger and have lunch. Then headed for her interview. While walking to the building, we were walking so close and our hand almost touches. I was hesitating whether to hold her hand but in the end i drop the thought. I wonder if iam thinking too much. Lets hope for the best.

Thats for now...i think i have decided to voice out to her later through sms...
Will update again.

Spoken from heart...

2007-04-15T08:16:00.001-07:00

Its rather late and she didnt reply any of my msg or even msg me.

From my heart...I want to tell you this...

I miss you alotz...You have already taken up almost all the space in my heart...Wish I can know how you feel for me...at least i would have a peace of my mind...
I miss you...do you know that...

Noone can ever replace you...

Waiting for the day when you offically accepted me.

When will it be the day...i wish i can know...

Miss you so much...

...I was sick...but much better le...

2007-04-15T06:50:00.000-07:00

I woke up at 8am feeling sick, down with flu and fever. So went back to sleep till 9am.

By then when i woke up, i still not feeling well. So decided not to go out today. Took my temperature and it was 38degree. Slight fever and bad flu. Feeling weak.

By then i cannot get to sleep so wake up and watch some tv. Then i msg her saying that i am sick. Awhile later i msg her again saying i will go down to get the animae 2nd box from her as she brought down the 1st box to watch at my place. But she reply saying since i am sick dont come stay at home and rest.

I called her and we chatted for awhile. She was saying that she wanted to watch the vcd again so i say, then why not you come down over my place and accompany me watch. She thought for awhile then agree. I was very happy. And we spend the whole afternoon watching the animae.

Half way through, she was sleepy and went to rest in my room. So surprising. Well she lefted at around 530pm due to meeting her friend.

Well alotz things happen...what can i say...i wish i know whats my satnd in her heart. I wish i can win her heart...i wish...i wish...i wish to tell her...i Love her...

Hope that everything goes well, lotz of my pals ask me to be persistance...I will and I am.
Hope my efforts are not in waste wor...

Will update again tomorrow.

Spoken from heart...

2007-04-14T07:38:00.000-07:00

Today i didnt go out at all. Stay at home slacking and do my stuffs. Out of the blue, around 147pm, she called me. Asking me where am i and what i am doing.

So i told her i am at home, doing nothing. Planning to make some cookies later. She say she want to come and learn and play.

Well she came over and we have fun. The way she makes cookies was so funny.

We seems close but well she havent give the final answer yet.

I have a bad flu the whole day and while i was resting on the sofa, she took some pictures using my hp and edited them. I wonder whats does it lead to but i guess i have to wait patiencely.

Just hope everything will go well. Lets hope i can win her heart soon. Hope i never make a wrong move. Just now while at the busstop waiting for her bus, she was bullying me by thearting not to give back my hp or either she deleted the pictures she took. So i was alittle piss off as never a ger able to take control of my hp and she is the first ger wor. I wonder if my piss off make her angry.

When she got on bus, i told her to msg me when she got home but till now, no msg have come in yet. I msg her but no reply.

Am i thinking too much...I just worry thats all...Who can help me??

...deep down from my heart...i voice out...

2007-04-13T09:53:00.000-07:00

I just got home awhile ago from Kallang Indoor stadium...went for a healing service...it was so cool...

Well i msg her telling her i am going to a seminar and be home at 11+pm. As usual she went out with her god-father for supper. She love eating deer meat. The serivce ended around 11+pm instead and i ended up have to take cab home.

She got home around 12+ when i was on cab and we chatted on sms till i about to reach home. I told her i will call her after i bathed.

After i shower,i called her and we chatted for awhile. Through the conversation, i gain alot informations about her as well as got to know that another guy is going after her too and make that a total of 4suitors including me. It makes me alittle stress and worry but whatever the outcome is, i resepect her decision.

I do sense that i do stand some chances and i willing to take up the challenge wor...haha...
She love to use the suitors thingy to scare me, well as long as she is happy and not overboard,i am still alright.

Just hope to be there fo her whenever she needs me as well as shower her with love and care that she desire.

We hang up due to her dad keep asking and we continue chatting by sms. I am wondering if i should go for the Secondary gathering tomorrow though its only 2-3people there only. Its seems to waste of my time.

Thats for now, will update again

...deep down from my heart...i voice out...

2007-04-12T06:27:00.000-07:00

School ended at 430pm today and i went down to a new magic show that my friend intro. Hang around for awhile and left. I msg her and told her i am coming down to pass her some cakes for her and her sis as tomorrow is her sis birthday but they celebrated it earlier.

Well she replied saying she is sleeping so i told her i went home to bath first then come down.
Got home, took a shower and pack some stuffs and left home.
Well on the way down i msg her and she called me instead saying to meet at hougang delifrance as she is going out later. I asked where she going and she just replied: "Dont tell you lai...=p..."

I was kind of curious but decided not to ask too much. She send me to my busstop and on the journey, we have fun teasing each other and joking around. I am glad that she is happy and i wish that i could give her the happiness that she require for her rest of her life.

i was planning to msg her at around 11pm but due to my surprise that she msg me around 1028pm saying that she got home le and if i want to call her call in 20mins time.

Well well well...what can i say. Do i sound bored telling what happen me and her. I am confused as is she another ger that seems to be leading me on but in the end, she just let go like the previous ger i was going after...I dont want to waste my time if she dont think i am the right 1.

To me, i dont feel young anymore pass 22...going 23 next year...sound young but come on, do i always have to enjoy what other is going through later than others...i just wish for a proper relationship...cant i have 1?

20mins later, i tried calling but house's phone enaged...well the she told me to call another 10mins later...hmm...i dont knwo what to say...i am happy yet confused...

I dont wish to go back to my past as a player...i really dont want to....

...deep down from my heart...i voice out...

2007-04-11T18:13:00.000-07:00

I just reached school. Its rather early for me so i decided to do some blogging.
I woke up rather early today because i need to give her morning call as she need to go to her friend's hseto do some cooking for her sis' birthday celebration today.

The fact is we slept at around 146am in the midnight after watching the repeat of Bao Siao Xing Ren Wang on Channel8. She was ot with her god father for supper till 11+. During then we chattedon sms on and off and i told her to have early rest when she got home. But she told me she want to watch tv. So i ask her whats on tv and due tomy surprise, she called me up when she got home.

So we chatted on the phone till 0035 then we switched to smsing as her dad might scold her. And from there we chat on how lame and funny was the tv programme and about the ice cream sweets i make for her. I didnt took any pictures because i find it not presentable...haha

Anyway, we smsing alotz and i told her to sleep early if not cant wake up at 7am. She just replied: "You wake me up by miss call me la..."
Well can i place this as another level up again? Well i hope for the best.

I give her morning call this morning and gosh she was such a pig. I cant recall how many times i called but i called her since 7am till 715am...
Finally she woke up. Haha she was funny as she sms me saying: "K la u win le dun call i wake up le"
Well, we chatted on sms on the way through our journey on bus. Well to me it was a rather memorial and i treasure it alotz.

I am now having english lesson and have to write a argumentative essay so got to go.
Update again when i can.

...deep down from my heart...i voice out...

2007-04-11T07:04:00.000-07:00

I just created this account recently to have afresh start as well as to voice out my thoughts.

Well let me do a rough introduction of myself. I am currently schooling in a private school as well as working as a magician.

Well in school, i recently sign up for a quit smoking programme and they are cool. I hope they can really help me quit as most of my friends from cyber doesnt know i am a smoker. I dont wish to spoilt my impression from them.

Hmm...well...recently i got to know a ger from online and i like her. So i told her that i am going after her. Well so far we are rather close, though we just know not long, we started chatting on msn and slowly by sms and then to chatting on phone. There are times we chatted on till 4+5+ in the morning and it was a wonderful moments as well there are laughters and joy in our conversations. We met up a couple of times as we stay rather near. I even make cookies, chocolates and ice cream sweets for her.

Knowing her for sometimes, i know certains of her past. To me, its her past, life is hard to predict and everyone has their pasts. So what her past had passed, i told her i dont mind and i willing to accept it as what i care is about her no and future. I hope i can win her heart and shower her with love and cares, being there for her whenever she needs me. But so far including me, there are total 3suitors. So wish that i could make it to the top.

After all, i only require for a permament, long term relationship as well as some attentions. Wishing someone to be there for me to hear my problems and care for me. I am not as strong as i seems to be. Whenever i saw my friends who are attached or couple on the streets, i envy them. I wonder, i only wish for a proper relationship, Dont i deserve that?

Well above are some pictures of my cookies and chocolates.

Thats all for now, will update again...